Being the only one.

hey! well, let me start off this post by saying
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY  ^^
though my mum would never see this post cuz shes dosent even know i own a blog,
i want to thank her for giving birth to me and always taking care of me.
my mum gave up her life in her country to be here in singapore with my dad
she never once left my side and im thankful for that.
she is my bestest friend, i cant ask for a better mother than her.

well, today i had lunch with my family. by family i meant my WHOLE family.
my aunt's family, my uncle's family, my grandma and my parents and i.
i seriously almost teared as i sat at that table looking at everyone eat.
my grandma wore the happiest smile i've seen in years.
i bet she was thinking the same thing as i.
i grew up around a very dark environment.
an environment where there was always yelling and slamming of doors.
an environment where the aura was as thick as the dark clouds.
an environment where i saw my family break apart at a young age of 5.
people may ask how do i remember so much?
those fights impacted me too much.
at night i still cry at scenes that haunt me.
however as i sat in that chair at the restaurant today everything changed.
my two younger cousins, one 8 and one 4 happily laughing and playing together.
my dad,aunt and uncle all talking,chatting together.
my uncle asking my dad to eat more. this happiness is something i wanted to capture and retain.
i am glad my cousins didnt need to see and go through what i had to.
im glad they are able to play with each other without any care.
they play like they were sisters with no worries.
in my time i had no one to play with. i grew up in a world of adults.
no one baby-talked with me. i grew up playing by myself and talking with my grandma.

i never thought i see the day my family would sit for a meal.
the last was new year 2 years back. and i remember that year i cried in my room.
finally the sun had came out, the darkness was over.
though they arent all that close yet, the family was coming back together.
after my mom's fall early this year, my aunt and mom got closer.
i really thought i never see this day.
everything is back to normal. i am just so glad.
i wish i could have grew up in this friendly environment but i didnt,
so my cousins are really lucky kids. they didnt have bad memories etched in their mind.

today was the happiest day of this year.
i bet i will have this feeling everytime my family meets.
but it is something i need to treasure and remember after all i saw when i was younger.

with this sentiment, i shall end this post.
Stay happy and Stay strong :)
Nites...

BYE BYE TO YOU AND ME!!
i have decided not update anymore..i feel like writing blog is a boredom,so yea,.im gona stop wrtiting..haha,but i am leaving tis blog here so people can still tag me..haha,i am tat bored and retartded..so yea,if u stop by..LEAVE COMMENTS..*hint.hint*

BYEZ TO THE WORLD!!


(^0^) 10/8/08

wah siao ah today..today is another retarded PLUS pai seh day..
OMG!!today in skool,ms chang gave me a book,while ms anisah gave me a bag of sweets and pinkk stuffz..heh THXS TEACHERS!!
wah after skool the worst but fun part.its like we were eatin long john silvers when they all(kerencia,yi ling,fiona,syafiqah,pei qi and diyanah) started singing happy birthday,then the table nxt to us frm swiss cottage i tink sung it together wit them.wah damn pai seh sia..omg...then l8tr,pei qi and i started walking,then we went toilet while the others planned sumething.
then after tat..pei qi pull me out of the tat place(did i mention my glasses broke?)then we take lift then fiona blind fold me and bring me outside lot 1 where they held tis really cute cake then got candle some more..one guy help us lor.that guy was like:"happy b'day" wah so pai seh sia!
wah,tmrw die liao lah,they all wan to plan to attack me.sia lah..i dun noe wad to bring tmrw..a water gun or a raincoat/poncho or a umbrella or a shield aiya shield just hide behind one guy can alrdy lah..(hehe use bryan)
sigh today i'll write to here..i veri tired seh..I WALK HOME SIA!!lose weight..haha

well i gtg..byez!!(^O^)

to tell u the truth,yesterday was a retarted day..haha. i spent half the day wit cheryl and tash 'strolling' in orchard.why,well reason is simple..just hanging out or lets say celebrating a earlier b'day for me.every b'day every year is really weird.
like how every year i get t-shirts frm japan..and this year it is REALLY girly.(thxs to my mom who told my aunt over in japan tat i love wearing bois clothes and is really hard for me to wear girly clothes) she and her big-mouth resulted in buying some okay okay nice girl clothes..last year ones were the worst..
yesterday,tash got me a tohoshinki(a korean boy group but sing jap songs) cd/dvd. they are actually quite good!cheryl got me a cool t-shirt frm Esprit.(cuz we were window shopping at the centerpoint) damn retarded lah.i bought her a cardigan haha.
we took loads neoprint..ok not much,but two sets or machines or watever..we had subway for lunch which we met willabelle and gang,some i reconigsed(sp?)some i didn't. it was awesome.willabelle looked cuter and her voice is so nice(^O^)(jkjk i am not les!i am 101% girl~.~) we ate some ice-cream and walked all the way to plaza singapura.
while tash was listening to cheryl's ipod, cherly & i started to copy micheal jackson..we started say " hee hee" it was so retarted..people were like looking,then we started to say words with P or S or T (e.g pizza,stop,) and we spit saliva at each other..it is friggin retarted..
ahh..b'day could nvr get better then tis..ended the day eating long john silver wit my rents..HAHA. and i am supposed to eat it wit lyida,syafiqah and fiona tmrw..haha,
well, i guess tats it..wanna noe wad my mom and dad gave me?
a cordless iron(yess its a present) and a new stereo (^O^) i wished they could have gotten me tat steam clothes machine..like tat i won't have to iron..sigh
well i've wrtten too much..BYEZ!@!

natasha B and willa


cheryl and tasha buying food while i slack..haha


clothes my aunt frm jp gave me..SO GIRLY!!


present frm tash...tohoshinki CD

yo!wah today is a freaking hot day..until at night..duno why suddenly so windy.well,tmrw is gona be an awesome day..ahaha,today,aiya today sia ok ok .went to visit NAFA,omg,the art pieaces are getting nicer as a year passes.dman nice ah,the picturess.i also got some ideas back for the collage.today we also registered for the N.Emation.i can't believe we are joining!all we have to do is type out the story and we're done!and if we get selected out of those many many skools and team,we'll be AWESOME!another step to DREAM!!haha,
well im tired today so tats all
im not pissed as much as i was just now evening...and i haven't apologized to the dustbin,but nvm... haha..lucky i nvr box someone..instead put my anger on a wall and a dustbin which are non -living things.
but its ok..HAHAHA..

well,gona go watch MEET THE SPARTANS byez!(~.~)

i tink it lks smal but its ok...class of 2G '08!!

AHHHH!!i am so tired,today PE run 3 rounds..ok tat was not tiring but history test realli blew me off. then afternoon oral..wah like killing me inside out like tat.wah tmrw go NAFA..siah lah.
today's oral was really retarted.picture i tink i fail lor..nothing to say.u noe we see people like sit there so long..i dun noe y i go there talk over in a few mins then over...all those question she ask..i canot answer.for the conversation..like which park do u go to in ur free time. i was like"uh..my house there no park" lolz..!SO RETARDED!!oh btw i nvr wait for u(syaa and shun) cuz i just remembered my mom was at home sick.. i very forgetful right?i forgot my mom was sick at home..lolz..i rushed home like mad lor.also i skipped like 2 lunches so now my stomach hurts like hell..wah f___dun noe tmrw can go skool anot..gastric like hell...stupid stomach.eat then pain..dun tell me stomach infection again..i tell u..i'd rather die then go through tat..well im gona go off..i wana learn spanish..haha jk jk..i watchin the channel 8 show.shuo hua hao hao shuo..hehe

BYEZ!(^o^)

listening to:kidnap my heart-the click five

wahh..today damn bad. i just don't understand why the class can't keep quiet.thxs to them,today is officially the breakdown of teachers..from morning till after skool,all kana dao si.maybe our form teacher would even change,our english teacher is pissed like hell,sigh..DIE!!oh well,frm tmrw onwards damn busy lor.tmrw glass painting,the day after tmrw eng oral exam and history test then the day after after tmrw..(hehe) going to NAFA.(lolz..almost wrote NASA)i am so bored and a bit pissed,but i gussesd its ok. i hope tmrw the class would be better,and won't dissapoint teachers further.sigh.i also become disipline no use lor.all day scream here and there also no one listen.sigh. i tink i'd rather not do anything then just get scolded.its better then losing my voice.AHH!!today is such a bad day..i got a bit jealous over some things also.sigh,i dun noe wad to do liao lah!aiya..i go sleep liao ...since i got nothing beter to think abt..i tink tonight i'll get nightmare instead of dreams..sigh,,
well byez!